Stress!!

Normally when I am stressed I turn to God for his guidance and wisdom! Or.. I talk to my husband and we problem solve to try to take the stress away, whatever it may be. But.. lately.. I have just been keeping it all inside. I mostly feel selfish telling others about my struggles because I know that everyone has problems and fears and are dealing with it too. But, it just gets to a point where I have to let go. And that happened this morning.

I was here with just Edison and he was napping. I starting thinking about things in my head that needed to be paid and done and what all was coming up and just the stresses of life right now and I just started sobbing! The Mom and provider side of me started panicking. I was trying to think of things to sell or do to relive the financial side of my stress and then trying to organize my thoughts onto paper to try and sort it all out and I started sobbing more. I was supposed to go shopping with my Mom this morning which would normally make me so happy.. But the thought of spending precious money right now made me literally sick. And.. if you know me.. when I am stressed.. I clean. I started cleaning.. I cleaned my fridge out top to bottom.. I clean my washer and dryer inside and out.. and then started laundry that really didn't need to be done right away and then I cleaned out the inside of my dishwasher.. I was just going 90 to nothing! I finally stopped for a second a realized.. none of this is going to help with my stress, it was really adding to it.

The only thing that puts me slightly at peace is knowing that God is right here with me. I may not know what the next few months will bring us with my husbands job hunt or the refinancing of our house.. But I do know.. God will be right there with me and holding my hand. God may not be able to give me money or 10 minutes to take a shower.. but he can give me peace and faith. Which I need both so very much! Life is often so stressful it takes over us.. consumes us.. but stopping just for a moment and focusing on Him and what is really most important can wash away that stress in a moment. I sit here now.. calm.. with my washing machine and dishwasher running, looking at my son beside me smiling away at his toys on his bouncer.. and I realize.. All is ok.. and at the end of the day.. I do have what I need. And what I want, well that isn't a priority! Serving my God and taking care of my family.. that is where I am needed and that makes me happy! :)