Just unthinkable..

A few months ago I saw on a old friends facebook post to pray for a Vidor couples baby! He had been diagnosed during an ultrasound with anencephaly. It is a condition where the baby doesn't develop most of his skull and brain! This broke my heart.. I was pregnant at the time and couldn't imagine being told something was morbidly wrong with my unborn infant! As time went on, I thought about that family periodically and prayed for God to be with them during all of this. I, of course had Edison and knew that that family would shortly after me, being having their baby! I had done some research and saw that most often that baby doesn't live very long after birth and just couldn't think of what they could be thinking and how they are preparing themselves. Through the wonderful Facebook I learned that they had had baby "Thomas" on 4/29! I rejoiced in the birth, but was deeply saddened by what was emanate for that family and sweet baby! I began to think. Think hard. God.. I know you do things for a reason and I do not question your will, but please try to help that family understand why you chose them for this experience! Help them to see what you were trying to show them, help everyone see! I still don't know why.. and they may not either.. but I know just from seeing all of this unfold from afar.. that God is amazing! He let that tiny angel live for 40 something hours. His parents got to be with him for almost 2 days and most babies with that condition don't live but minutes! Wow.. One of their friends who is a photographer has been there taking pictures through all of that and she posted a slide show of the few days events! It is truely breath taking! I decided, stupidly, to watch it this morning while getting ready for work. Like I said, STUPID! 10 seconds into it I was sobbing uncontrollably.. Here I was looking at my healthy infant laying next to me and felt almost guilty! I can't explain the emotions I felt! After a few short minutes of watching the 10 minute slide show, I had to pause it. ALL of my makeup was in puddles on my keyboard! I had only thought I could imagine their pain.. but seeing their pain through pictures was heartbreaking and unthinkable! I thought about this all day.. It makes me thank God for what I have been given. No matter how small the gift may be to me.. but to someone else.. that small gift could be everything!

Here is a link to the photographers facebook and then from there you can find her slideshow of baby Thomas: http://www.facebook.com/#!/hautephotography